Friday, October 30, 2015

you deserve to die...

This post will have NO photos. 

There are very few reasons a spider should deserve to live. I can only think of a couple:


  1. You are very skinny and small and you make webs in the corner of my room to catch mosquitos
  2. Actually, I can't think of anything else. I guess there is just one thing...
My encounter with spiders here has been therapeutic if that's even possible, by helping me somewhat try to overcome my fear. Legitimate, irrational fear. They get to be the size of dinner plates. Thank you Jesus that I have not actually seen one of those... However the ones I have encountered are big enough. 3-3.5" diameter is large enough for me. Thus there are many, many reasons that spiders here deserve to die.
  1. You can't make a web.
  2. You are too heavy to stay on a web even if you could weave one
  3. You have more hair than me
  4. Your hair can be braided. 
  5. You are anywhere remotely near anything that belongs to me. This includes, but is not limited to my room (especially my bed), my closet, my shoes, my bathroom and my food.
My very first week in Haiti, almost 2 years ago, I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I jumped and screamed only to see it was a cute little gecko. I went about my business. Sundays, church started at 6am. That meant that we left at 5:30am every Sunday thus I got up at 4:45am every Sunday. My first Sunday, I was in my closet getting clothes and I saw something large move out of the corner of my eye again. I assumed it was a gecko. I turned and naturally since I'm NOT scared this time,  it turned out to be a 3" diameter spider right by my face. I screamed and jumped and tried to run out of my closet to get help. The nasty thing crawled into my light fixture. Luckily Michelet was around to come get it. He laughed at me.

This has been the situation time and time again... They stalk me. They know I'm scared and they try to find me. But by the grace of God I have not EVER seen one on my bed or near my bed. I've prayed protection over my bed. I told God if He wanted me in Haiti, I would go, but He has to keep the spiders away from me! Apparently, my first month in Cap there were tarantulas everywhere. I never saw one. NOT ONE!! Thank you God!! I was told later that they were on the door to my house all the time, the walls, the ground... 

Youvenx told me later he thought I did a good job with them considering how scared I am. NEVER SAW ONE!!! That's grace covering me. I truly believe that! I have enough trouble with my nightmares that they are dropping down on to me... tons of them. It's horrible. I actually get a physical reaction. I start shaking, I start to go fetal, I involuntarily start to cry. It's embarrassing. I try to hide this from the kids because they are boys and will inevitably throw them on me as a joke.

Just for entertainment sake. I will tell you one last story. I was visiting an agro project outside Cap Haitien in 2013. I had become too comfortable in my environment. I walked through the cages for the chickens while listening to my site host talk about the project, the benefits of raising and selling chickens, selling eggs, etc... 

As we finished our tour of the farm, I told my gracious host that we should take a picture. We did. Then I said we should take one holding a tray of fresh eggs. He went and got a tray with about 25 eggs on it and came back to where I was standing in front of the large egg laying cage. My friend Linsey was ready with the camera for the egg picture. He handed me the eggs and out of the corner of my eye I see movement. I look down and see a LARGE nasty brown spider with racing stripes running towards my hand/arm. Naturally I let out a scream that has been played time and time again in horror movies. The kind that starts off deep in your gut and gets louder in volume and pitch as it continues to shrill from your gut.

I did not want to drop the tray of eggs since this is the livelihood of these hard working ladies, but the spider was now running up my arm. I tried my best to remain calm while handing Benito the egg tray without dropping them, but needed to go into the shaking part of fear to get the spider off of me. as I started jerking and shaking, the spider fell off me with a THUD on the ground before it ran away (yes, it was that big)... The best part about this story...

All the Haitian women who ran to where we were to witness this were saying out loud "why is she scared of eggs?! Ha! ridiculous... who's scared of eggs? 

I lied... here's a picture after I calmed down and Benito (with the little old woman) were making fun of me.